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Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Funke Akindele reveals how societal pressure forced her into her first marriage

Nollywood actress Funke Akindele has revealed how societal pressure forced her into her first marriage, urging ladies to avoid being pressured into marriage.

The 43-year-old made this known in an interview with Chude Jideonwo, while speaking about her struggles, failed marriage to businessman, Kehinde Adeola Oloyede-Almaroof, among others.

According to the filmmaker, this is the first time she will be speaking about everything from the drama of her first marriage to the joys of the second and to the tough 2020 she had.

“I have never addressed this issue, but I will do now to encourage ladies that are pressured to get married. Please calm down and take your time because if you rush in, you rush out, that is the lesson learned,” she said.

“I just wanted to get married then, have children because I was being pressured by society, here and there and then it didn’t work out and ended in a bad way. I was filming when the news broke on social media, I wanted to die, I lost some good deals and all but I didn’t let it break me,” she added.

In May 2016 Funke married her second husband Abdulrasheed Bello popularly known as JJC Skillz. They have two children together.

Funke also spoke about how she handled her situation when she was arrested for violating the lockdown restrictions after hosting a birthday party in honour of her husband during the period.

“In Panti after I was arrested, when they said I should write my statement, I said ‘I wish I can just die’. the man said “ahan koto yen naw” I said ‘Yes, let me just die so it’ll cover the whole thing”.

“I said that minute but after a while, I took it back. Whatever it is Chude, it will pass.

“They are times negativity will come, there are times jealousy will come, they are time anger will come. Do not let it overwhelm you, do not let it eat you up, so that when the trouble times come, it will pass. So you just have to take the time.

“You are human. You are allowed to break down,” she said. (Pmnewsnigeria)


I’m not interested in marriage - Denerele Edun

Nigerian TV personality and fashion icon, Adenrele Oluwafemi Edun, popularly known as Denrele Edun has said that he’s not interested in marriage since no woman has been able to reciprocate the measure of love he gives.

Speaking in an interview, the award-winning TV personality who will be 40 in few weeks, pointed out that his sexual life is very active, adding “I am dating myself and not interested in marriage.”

According to him, all he wants is to be himself and would rather stay single than get married and be unhappy.

Denrele also revealed that his mother once bought him a diamond ring to ensure he finds a girl, propose to her and eventually settle down.

He said; “I am not interested in the institution called marriage. I can say this because I am in control of my decisions. I set my principles, follow my guiding philosophies and do only what I want to do. I have not been lucky with love. I give out a lot of love but I do not get the same measure back. It is very hard to find people who genuinely reciprocate the kind of love I give.

“I know people will question my sexuality because we live in a society where people are constantly under pressure and different forms of discrimination. Recently, I saw a story claiming that I was in a relationship with a male artiste but I don’t react to such claims anymore. I have sacrificed a lot to take care of my family. I have been shouldering responsibilities since I was 11 years old.”

Denrele further revealed that he once dated someone he was ready to give up the entertainment industry for.

He said; “I was so obsessed with her but she said it would be unfair to take that from me. Now, I have discovered inner happiness and peace of mind because God has used me to break the chains of poverty in my family. I will be hard on myself if I say I am not fulfilled or satisfied.” Thenationonlineng

Five Friends That May Harm Your Marriage

Despite the fact that humans were created for relationship and companionship, there are some friends that may not stand the test of time in our lives. We may naturally have to shed some friends that do not align in our next phase of life, sometimes for the sake of a successful married life.

Here are five friends that may harm your marriage:

Friends with Different Ethical Standards

If morality, ethics and religion form the ethos of your life then certain friendships may not last into marriage. Hobbies, interests and source of income may all be affected by the sort of friendships maintained at this stage.

For example, a friend that maintains partners outside marriage or is involved in financial scams will most likely not be kept by someone who has differing ethical standards or who wishes to alter the course of their life. 

Habitual Liars

Genuine friendships are based on trust; a friend that is fond of lying to you even about the smallest of issues may not last.

You should be able to have peace of mind when sharing information with or receiving information from a friend

Best Friends Of Opposite Sex

Best friends of the opposite sex may be purely platonic but there comes a point in marriage that your spouse should be considered your best friend. You may risk creating moments of jealousy because you share a unique connection with someone else other than your spouse.

In order to respect your spouse, it’s always wise to create a healthy distance between yourself and friends of the opposite sex. Your marriage is a friendship that should always come first.

Needy Friends

You may have to explain to certain friends how you are not always going to be available for them through what they consider as tough and emotional times. Most people respect a newly married couple and give them the space they need to adjust to their new life.

It is possible that over time, some friends become family but even such friends are cultured in the art of appropriateness.  

Unstable Friends

There may be some people who are still healing from a broken relationship or trying to get themselves together physically, financially and otherwise. If you think that you are being weighed down by such friends whilst you are in a vulnerable stage in your marriage then it is best to give that friendship some air.

There’s an old Yoruba proverb that states that twenty friends cannot play for twenty years. It simply means that at every stage in our lives, we would have friends that are good for us at the time.

Therefore the friends that one may have growing up may not always be the friends we maintain during adulthood and married life. Sugarweddings

How to handle toxic in-laws after marriage

One of a couple's fantasy is to live a life unhindered by external pressure because it enhances their partnerships. However, there are some external factors that you can't control; having toxic in-laws. As expected, they are constantly at the brink of breaking your relationships and causing unwanted disputes.

While these may suffice to alter your relationship, your reaction to it is what matters the most. Here are some ways you can handle toxic in-laws.

    Be at a Safe Distance

Keeping yourself at a safe distance makes you unpredictable to your toxic in-laws. Try not to create a friendship with them especially when they are known to be cunning.

Having a relationship with them from a distance is enough. It is not advisable to hate your in-laws. Rather, work out ways to creating a formal relationship with them. Always make sure to keep yourself away from harm's way. Conversations that may be created to rouse you into anger should either be stopped abruptly or completely ignored.

    Create clear Boundaries

Are there specific attributes you do not like? Then it's important to create a clear boundary. This may prove difficult. However, constantly insisting on keeping the boundaries will create a clear message.

    Work more privately with your spouse

Sometimes, your in-laws may try to use your spouse to get you upset or roused up.  At this point, understanding each other is very important.

Keep your marriage private and work more together. Create the time to build your relationships, working out your flaws and creating ways of creating a better version of yourselves.

    Stick to your decisions

When a toxic in-law is trying to change your minds, you must stick to your decisions. At most times, they may be constantly intrusive in your decision making. This is why you and your spouse should stand firm on your decisions.

    Ignore or address issues together

There are going to be quite a lot of issues that will arise with your inlaws. Ensure that these issues are being tackled by you and your spouse and not you alone. It is best to understand that your spouse is your priority and keeping them safe is important to you.

In worst-case scenarios, it may involve you and your partner leaving town for a while. This will allow you to clear your heads and get you prepared for future disagreement between inlaws. (Sugarweddings)

5 Tips To Keep The Fun In Your Marriage

Marriage has never been an easy ride in the park.  There will be rough times and periods you'd rather spend alone. Creating and keeping fun is very crucial in your relationship. It helps build a stronger bond between couples and acts as a shield. This is why we have decided to give you tips and advice on how to do that successfully:

    Take Interest in Each Other's Passion

There are a million and one things your partner does that may not interest you at all. Perhaps, it's taking a long morning walk, or making a new recipe. Not showing any interest means that you're slowly taking away your attention. Sometimes, you can help out or participate in their activities. It makes them cherish you a lot more. You may eventually get to like some of these activities.

    Take up something new and interesting

Nothing is more stressful as constantly doing the same routine. It will be a great idea to create an interesting hobby that is enough to get your spouse rushing home to do after a long hard day. Doing this together improves your relationship and boosts both your mental wellbeing.

    Write random notes to each other

This always does the magic. Imagine getting home or to work and stumbling on a little note your spouse has written. More often than not, it will brighten your day and make you look forward to more. Random notes show your spontaneity and your constant interest in your spouse.

    Go on random outings/ vacation

If it requires that you are both selfish about it, then do it anyway. Where's the fun in doing the same old thing? Plan out surprises, planned dates, vacations, impulsive walks, spontaneous activities just to jive up your marriage.

    Have a tête-à-tête

Having private conversations about how you feel, what your plans are for your business. etc can sure open a clearer path for you and your spouse. You're boosting confidentiality and trust each passing day if you're constantly doing this.

Bringing out the fun in your marriage needs consistency. You don't necessarily have to wait for a big break to make something big for your spouse. Making everyday count is worth more.

While there are a lot more alternatives, using these 5 ways will go a long way to bringing fun and happiness to your marriage.

The Perfect Ways To Save Up For Marriage

Preparing for marriage is an exciting process. When you make the right choices in marriage, it eases other processes. One of these choices is savings.
If you've been wondering how best you can save up for marriage, here are some tips and advice:

    Have a minimal Wedding

Having a minimal wedding helps take off money pressure. The more minimalist it is, the more savings you'll have for marriage. Technically, your marriage is more important than your wedding ceremony or reception. It's advisable to make a budget for your wedding and work according to the budget. Budgets will also help tighten your loose financial ends and reduce your chances of incurring debts.

    Reduce/ Avoid Debts

Incurring debts after your marriage is one of the worst ways to start your marriage. Instead, make sure that you avoid or pay off huge debts before starting afresh. You can also have a financial account specifically to pay off all debts.

    Have a Joint Savings/Investment Account

Having a joint account helps with direction. Every month, you and your spouse can add a little more funds to helping your finance in marriage.

    Have A separate Account for Vacations

It's necessary to go on vacations during your marriage. Make sure you and your spouse have an account specifically for that. Trying it out the first time may be a little difficult. However, you and your partner will ease into it after your first vacation trip.

    Draw out Plausible Plans and Work Accordingly

If you're planning on having children, changing jobs, moving to another place, you and your spouse are to draw out these plans and execute them in your own time. Always make out time for any alteration that may crop up as well.

    Be Realistic

Be honest with yourselves about how much you can save. It will make it easier to save up with an honest about rather than struggling. One of the best ways to get a base amount to save is to make a proper budget on each of your spending. Having this will create a clearer view of how your money is spent and how much you would want to set aside for savings.

Finances are a very crucial part of a marriage. It requires planning and dedication. The results are usually very pleasant because in most cases, couples would not have to worry in situations where the money is required. (Sugarweddings)
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